Nepgear (Drama CD)
by CardinalOnDiscord
Summary: (reupload bc i can't figure formatting out) Onii-chan has wants to avoid working and "studying," but Nepgear has other ideas.


It was a clear, sunny day outside, the workers were working, the birds were birding,  
And I was spending most of it inside.

Don't get me wrong, I love the sun, right? But today was my one day off and I really didn't want to waste it with things like human interaction. I told Nepgear and Neptune that I'd be "studying" in my room, and asked them not to bother me. Neptune was sent on some random quest by Histoire as a result of her not working since the last big battle, and Nepgear, to my limited knowledge, didn't have anything to do today. Normally, I'd be worried about that, but it was Nepgear, it's not like she's the type to barge in and stuff, so I don't think I should worry.  
Me, studying, though? That would never happen. Instead, I opted to do other mundane activities, such as clearing my large backlog of video games.

However, I shouldn't have underestimated Nepgear's determination to help me study, as just as I was in the middle of a battle, she entered my room. Without knocking, what a shocker.

"Onii-chan, I brought you some snacks and stuff-HEY!" I turned around, nonchalantly, as my character in-game died, due to negligence. My frustration was masked by my non-emotive face, glancing at Nepgear. We stared each other down. She held a pink tray with two mugs of coffee, a couple sweeteners and creamer, and a collection of assorted cookies on it.

"'Sup?" I said, breaking my poker face with a laugh. Nepgear was not amused.

"You said you'd be studying!" She set the tray down beside me. "You never study, so I thought I'd help encourage you by bringing you food!" She actually looked mad for once, a rarity for such a kind-hearted girl.

"Haha, funny, I fooled you, now give me food-!" I attempted to snatch a cookie off of her tray in vain, as she swatted my prying hands away.

"No! Bad Onii-chan! Since you weren't actually going to study, you don't get food!"

"Hey, I did actually _try_ to study! I just got bored halfway through, is all!" A complete and utter lie.

"Mmm..." she pondered the idea a little bit, "That does sound reasonable, especially for Onii-chan. Fine, you can have a cookie~" Nepgear presented the tray to me with a smile. I grabbed a couple of cookies and grabbed one of the mugs, pouring one cream, and one sugar into it. Instead of continuing with my video game marathon, I paused it, and decided to consume food in its stead. Nepgear sat down next to me, in the other light purple beanbag, and set the tray down in front of us. She, too, had a cup of coffee in her had as well.

"You didn't knock." I bluntly said, after a beat of silence.

"O-Oh. I thought that you'd be studying and not playing video games and other stuff."

"And what if I weren't playing video games?"

"What else would you do in here? Read?"

"Mmm... Try again."

"Let's see..." My brilliant plan was being set into motion, to create 'artificial fanservice,' as it were, "You could be... on your phone?" She suggested.

"Doing what? Texting my non-existent friends?" I heartily laughed.

"Oh, shut up, Onii-chan! You have friends!" Nepgear insisted, "Seriously, I don't get people like you. You say you don't have friends, and stay inside all the time, but you fail to see the people that you're perfectly fine with meeting up with when you want to go outside."

"Gosh, fine, I have friends. But what we really should be talking about are these cookies!" I pointed out, "Where'd you get these? It's like the perfect blend of chocolate and dough!"

"Come on, you've had chocolate chip cookies before, don't play dumb with me, Onii-chan."

"They're one of the _few_ great things Lastation has pioneered, I'm afraid."

"I will neither confirm nor deny that fact," she smiled. I gobbled down a couple more cookies, before starting up the rest of the conversation.

"Why're there two mugs of coffee, Nepgear?" I asked, mock-incredulously, "Even I can't drink that much!"

"I kinda wanted to drink it with you..." Nepgear's eyes darted down, her cheeks only getting slightly redder.

"And distract me from my studies?" *sarcasm*, "You are quite the vixen, Nepgear, how dare you plot such a thing!"

"I would never!" she exclaimed, "I-I just wanted to talk with you, is all." Her eyes were downcast, which kinda tug at my non-existent heatstrings.

"Oh, no, don't be sad about it, I was just teasing you, I promise!" Gosh darn it, I fucked it up again.

"Ahaha~ I got you, Onii-chan!" Her mood flipped like a coin. Or another relevant simile.

"I-I, oh come on, using my own tactic against me?"

"You're always like that, though, tricking people into thinking you're all sad to get free stuff." She moved a little closer to me. Don't get your hopes up, y'all, it was like 2 inches closer.

"You're lucky I don't try it out more often, though."

"I wouldn't like to be there if you did," Nepgear smiled.

"Hey, can I ask you a random question?" She asked, after another minute minute in time passed. I hadn't really touched my coffee, and was more focused on consuming the cookies.

"Go ahead," I, unwittingly, responded.

"What'd you add to your coffee?"

"2 creamers, 1 sugar, how about you?"

"2 spoonfuls of maple syrup and an undetermined amount of creamer," She calmly sipped her awfully sugary coffee as I stared in awe.

"But that's way too sweet!" I blurted out.

"I don't know, I really don't like the bitterness of coffee..." Nepgear admitted.

"Yeah, I get that, but maple syrup?" I paused. Maybe it'll be pretty good, and I shouldn't knock until I try it. "Okay, I won't be mean, try some of mine, it can't be that bad." I offered her my cup.

"Alright, but Onii-chan has to try mine, too," she immediately brightened up, "But don't drink it all like you always do!"

"Believe me, I'll try not to..."

I took her mug out of her outstretched hand and took a sip. I scrutinized the contents. The original color was a dark black, but this maple syrup flavored coffee was a light brown, sort of like the color of Lady Blanc's hair. An "undetermined amount of creamer" was probably like half the cup. It did distinctly smell like maple syrup, which worried me as to _what_ the sugar content of this drink would be.

My expectation was that I'd instantly be hit with a wall of sugar and go into diabetic shock. Since this was Planeptune, it was more likely that I'd die right here, instead of being rushed to a hospital. Nepgear was smart, I knew that, but how fast could she realize the signs of someone dying? But then again, Compa is a really great nurse, _she_ couldn't possibly not know how to hypothetically treat me. Let's just hope Nepgear would actually call for Compa.

Anyway, back to the present, I tentatively took a sip of her coffee.

"Woah, the maple syrup really goes well with the bitterness of the coffee." I was amazed, before stealing another guilty sip, "This is _really_ good!"

"I told you~ Now it's my turn."

Nepgear took a sip of my own blend of coffee.

I expected her to spit it out immediately.

She didn't spit it out, thankfully, but it was more like...

"Onii-chan, I'm not saying it's bad, per se..." Her constrained face told me everything.

"You don't like how bitter it is, don't you?" I finished her sentence for her.

"I think complex flavors are better than just straight bitterness, you know?" Nepgear awkwardly smiled.

"I guess." I conceded.

"But hey," she brightened up, "I know one more thing about you."

"It's a good thing I know that your coffee's trash, then, huh?"

"Aww, and now I know that yours is even worse," she satirized, "But seriously, if I ever make coffee for you again, I'll make sure that it'll taste exactly like this! Disgustingly bitter!"

"Oh, I'd love that!"

More time passes, mostly filled with both of us finishing up our coffees.

"...i drank from the same cup oniichan did..." I heard her mumble something incoherent. It sounded like she was moping about the fact that, _gasp_, she drank from the same cup as me?

"Nepgear?"

"H-Huh?" she looked startled, "What is it?"

"Did you say something?"

"Oh, no, it's fine, nothing at all, ahaha~"

"O-Okay, then..."

"I-I was just speaking to myself! Yes, nothing else!" Nepgear's voice grew more frantic, seemingly out of nowhere.

"I-yes, I understood that."

"Y-Yeah..." She looked a little more downtrodden. What did I do?

Honestly, I wouldn't have thought more about this weird part of the conversation if she didn't act so weird during it. It was so random, and unexpected. If I could hear the thoughts that were rushing through Nepgear's head, I would probably understand. Too bad I can't.

"H-Hey, Onii-chan?"

"Mm..?" Man, I wanted to start up a 2-player game with her. Oh well.

"Open your mouth~"

"Ah, alright-mmph!" She straight up just shoved a cookie into my mouth. The cookies that were forgotten for a while. "Don't chew it, just hold it, Onii-chan~!"

"Mhm.." I nodded weakly. What _is_ up with my sister today?

Nepgear got closer, and ate half the cookie that stuck out of my mouth. Blah, blah, she kissed me.

"Mmm~ That cookie was good!" She swallowed, then looked right at me, "Ahaha~ Doing something like this is fine every once in a while, right?" Uh, no, girl, it's not, but okay.

I consumed my cookie before continuing. At least _I_ had my priorities in order.

"What the heck?! what in the world is wrong with you today?!"

"I'm sorry, were you looking forward to eating that~?" Her tone of voice grew low, and seductive(?) in a way.

"Oh, come on, you don't see anything wrong with doing that?" I asked, my _anger_ growing.

"Oh, no, I'm scared~! What's Onii-chan going to do to me~?" She got up out of her chair and sat down in my lap. A million thoughts were running through my head, but all I could muster was a weak nod.

Not only that, panic coursed through my veins. What does she want form me? Nonetheless, my nervousness was quickly replaced by an amazing idea. One that would probably change the future of the Planeptune CPU bloodline, if you get what I'm throwing at you wO.

"Nepgear~ Say 'ah~'"

I held up a cookie, making it look like I was going to feed her. I could feel my heart pounding, as if this moment was incredibly important to the plot for some reason.

But just as I was going to put my master plan into action, and not feed her-

"Hey! I'm home!" Neptune came barging into my room, presumably to look for me or Nepgear.

"Yo, have you seen-oh...oh no..."

She took one long look at the two of us, me and Nepgear, sitting extremely close together. We stared her down, she stared us down. After what seemed like an eternity, she gave up, and left, quietly shutting the door as a courtesy.

The way she shut the door was quiet, but-

"HISTYY! NEPGEAR'S INTO SOME WEIRD KINKY INCEST SH-!" the muffled sound of Neptune's yells rang throughout the Basilicom, and were echoed to all of Gamindustri shortly after.

Nepgear's reputation would never be the same again.

* * *

This was an adaptation of that one Drama CD about Nepgear and her "brother." The actual story is much more mundane, and the conversation literally just jumps from topic to topic with no segue. I tried to fix that here, but I highly doubt that it worked that well.


End file.
